January 2012
1 post
1 tag
Jan 3rd
59 notes
December 2011
2 posts
I had a football conversation with another male at...
(Setting: my girlfriend’s aunt’s living room. A football game plays on the television.) Girlfriend’s cousin’s husband: How ‘bout those Lions? Me: They are a sports team. That’s it. That was the entire conversation. I can’t talk about sports with any knowledge or passion. I don’t have sports opinions. I can just recite broad facts, and at that...
Dec 26th
56 notes
1 tag
WatchWatch
I found the most patriotic dumpster and sang a little song about it.
Dec 17th
84 notes
November 2011
2 posts
6 tags
Nov 7th
48 notes
5 tags
Nov 7th
44 notes
October 2011
2 posts
Oct 27th
96 notes
5 tags
Oct 4th
399 notes
September 2011
3 posts
4 tags
Sep 23rd
31 notes
What if we expressed great emotion not by crying,...
“When I saw my newborn daughter for the first time, I was farting farts of joy.” “Just got some terrible news! I’m devastated, and now it smells like total shit over here.” “My day was so bad that I just had to go home and fart into a pillow.” “I can’t believe you took the time to make that wonderful Mexican dinner for me! That’s so...
Sep 19th
43 notes
4 tags
Sep 2nd
23 notes
August 2011
3 posts
Aug 30th
17 notes
Aug 22nd
1,944 notes
ListenRecently, my dear friend Bora crashed at my place...
Aug 3rd
22 notes
July 2011
1 post
5 tags
Jul 21st
101 notes
June 2011
1 post
4 tags
Nintendo's Wii U Announcement Trailer was insane
Nintendo unveiled their new Wii last night. It’s basically a more powerful Wii with a controller that has a camera and a big touchscreen on it. In their announcement trailer, they briefly showed how two people can video chat with the controller. Their demo went like this: Girl: (to guy on Wii controller screen) “Want to go cycling?” Guy (to girl on his Wii controller...
Jun 8th
42 notes
May 2011
4 posts
2 tags
May 25th
81 notes
The weirdest hope
Some dude on my MegaBus this morning got left behind at the truck stop we took a break at, so we had to turn around and go get him. A few people groaned. The bus driver left exactly when he said he would, so I think everyone saw this as more of an annoyance than a tragedy. I hope, for that dude’s sake, he had a good excuse for missing the bus. Like diarrhea. I hope that dude had...
May 7th
Bus conversation with the friendly girl in the...
Me: Tons of people meeting online and getting married these days.
Girl: I know. I could never do that. I don't even have a Facebook account.
Me: That's cool, though. Not having a Facebook account is the new not having a television.
Girl: I don't have a television.
Me: Well, there you go.
May 7th
3 tags
May 4th
28 notes
April 2011
3 posts
2 tags
Two Things: Moments when Facebook told me that...
1) The Sometimes Friend I went to elementary school with a dude named Bill. Bill was odd in that he’d be your friend one week, and the next he wouldn’t talk to you. By middle school, he’d moved away. Up until then, I thought Bill’s behavior was specific to me until a friend said, “Remember Bill? That dude was a total fairweather friend.” Others agreed. Bill was...
Apr 28th
38 notes
1 tag
Apr 19th
460 notes
1 tag
My dog did an April Fool's Day joke this year →
It helps if you’ve already seen his blog.
Apr 1st
16 notes
March 2011
4 posts
A Handy Guide to Purchasing and Serving Goodbye...
Today was the first time I ever participated in the purchasing and serving of a colleague’s goodbye cake. It was a learning experience. I shared what I learned in the guide below. Sometimes coworkers decide to leave the company. What better way to recognize that than with cake? Here are some tips for picking out that perfect cake to say goodbye with: NOTHING THAT COSTS YOU A FORTUNE. If...
Mar 31st
2 tags
Mar 29th
147 notes
WatchWatch
This is what Duke does while I prepare his food: heavy breathing that turns into very polite crying. Edit: WHOOPS. Wrong blog. Oh well. I’ll keep it here, then reblog it where it belongs. One time the person who runs Holy Maury Mother of God accidentally posted a photo of two naked ladies making out with each other. I guess what I’m saying is there are worse mistakes to make when you...
Mar 13th
37 notes
2 tags
Mar 8th
57 notes
February 2011
4 posts
Feb 19th
22 notes
Feb 18th
93 notes
Feb 14th
Feb 11th
40 notes
January 2011
8 posts
Jan 31st
33 notes
1 tag
Jan 27th
2 tags
Why I don't take hipster girls seriously
I’ve been in a happy relationship for a few years, but sometimes, very briefly, I’ll imagine what it’d be like if I settled down with someone else. (I also imagine what it’d be like to go to space and fight vampires, so don’t read into this too much.) A while ago I thought about what it’d be like to date this quirky barista I saw at Starbucks. She had preposterous glasses and a pretty face and an...
Jan 26th
75 notes
WatchWatch
So, my dad makes stuff. He does video editing, he makes pixel art out of Legos, he does voice-over work. He’s a talented dude. He recently put together this reel of some of his commercial type work and I really like it. My two favorite parts: The 3D type at 0:42. I think it’s well-presented and fun. The “other” email messages at 1:46. Pay close attention. Pause if...
Jan 25th
2 tags
Jan 24th
2 tags
Jan 17th
40 notes
This post is not about a wine shop.
This post is not about a wine shop. It was going to be. I was going to take a photo of one, then write about it, but I couldn’t. A lot of the writing I do comes from me finding something that inspires me, then taking a photo of it with my camera phone and writing about it later. I’ve done this quite a few times. So, today I was walking through my neighborhood and I saw that a little...
Jan 8th
46 notes
Jan 7th
25 notes
December 2010
8 posts
4 tags
Dec 28th
55 notes
3 tags
I swear this conversation actually happened while...
Amy: Is this the right lane? TSA Agent: This is the no liquids lane. Me: But we have a dog. TSA Agent: That’s fine. Just no liquids. Me: But he’s… full of blood? TSA Agent: Oh. Well, that’s fine. Me: Ok, just checking. TSA Agent: I think it’s good that he has blood. Me: I do, too.
Dec 27th
63 notes
Dec 21st
1 tag
Dec 17th
3 tags
Dec 14th
42 notes
Dec 13th
71 notes
2 tags
Dec 7th
30 notes
4 tags
Dec 1st
40 notes
November 2010
11 posts
2 tags
Nov 30th
1 tag
Nov 19th
34 notes
2 tags
GIFs from a YouTube video about facial yoga
There’s a YouTube video in which an enthusiastic blonde woman shows a skeptical dark-haired woman how to do facial yoga. The video’s awkward, Tim-and-Eric-like editing involves a lot of cutting from face to face. It’s awesome. So, I made a few gifs. Enjoy.
Nov 18th
42 notes
3 tags
Nov 17th