January 2012
1 post
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December 2011
2 posts
I had a football conversation with another male at...
(Setting: my girlfriend’s aunt’s living room. A football game plays on the television.)
Girlfriend’s cousin’s husband: How ‘bout those Lions?
Me: They are a sports team.
That’s it. That was the entire conversation.
I can’t talk about sports with any knowledge or passion. I don’t have sports opinions. I can just recite broad facts, and at that...
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WatchI found the most patriotic dumpster and sang a little song about it.
November 2011
2 posts
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October 2011
2 posts
5 tags
September 2011
3 posts
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What if we expressed great emotion not by crying,...
“When I saw my newborn daughter for the first time, I was farting farts of joy.”
“Just got some terrible news! I’m devastated, and now it smells like total shit over here.”
“My day was so bad that I just had to go home and fart into a pillow.”
“I can’t believe you took the time to make that wonderful Mexican dinner for me! That’s so...
4 tags
August 2011
3 posts
Recently, my dear friend Bora crashed at my place...
July 2011
1 post
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June 2011
1 post
4 tags
Nintendo's Wii U Announcement Trailer was insane
Nintendo unveiled their new Wii last night. It’s basically a more powerful Wii with a controller that has a camera and a big touchscreen on it.
In their announcement trailer, they briefly showed how two people can video chat with the controller. Their demo went like this:
Girl: (to guy on Wii controller screen) “Want to go cycling?”
Guy (to girl on his Wii controller...
May 2011
4 posts
2 tags
The weirdest hope
Some dude on my MegaBus this morning got left behind at the truck stop we took a break at, so we had to turn around and go get him. A few people groaned. The bus driver left exactly when he said he would, so I think everyone saw this as more of an annoyance than a tragedy.
I hope, for that dude’s sake, he had a good excuse for missing the bus. Like diarrhea. I hope that dude had...
Bus conversation with the friendly girl in the...
Me: Tons of people meeting online and getting married these days.
Girl: I know. I could never do that. I don't even have a Facebook account.
Me: That's cool, though. Not having a Facebook account is the new not having a television.
Girl: I don't have a television.
Me: Well, there you go.
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April 2011
3 posts
2 tags
Two Things: Moments when Facebook told me that...
1) The Sometimes Friend
I went to elementary school with a dude named Bill. Bill was odd in that he’d be your friend one week, and the next he wouldn’t talk to you. By middle school, he’d moved away. Up until then, I thought Bill’s behavior was specific to me until a friend said, “Remember Bill? That dude was a total fairweather friend.” Others agreed. Bill was...
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My dog did an April Fool's Day joke this year →
It helps if you’ve already seen his blog.
March 2011
4 posts
A Handy Guide to Purchasing and Serving Goodbye...
Today was the first time I ever participated in the purchasing and serving of a colleague’s goodbye cake. It was a learning experience. I shared what I learned in the guide below.
Sometimes coworkers decide to leave the company. What better way to recognize that than with cake? Here are some tips for picking out that perfect cake to say goodbye with:
NOTHING THAT COSTS YOU A FORTUNE. If...
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WatchThis is what Duke does while I prepare his food: heavy breathing that turns into very polite crying.
Edit: WHOOPS. Wrong blog. Oh well. I’ll keep it here, then reblog it where it belongs.
One time the person who runs Holy Maury Mother of God accidentally posted a photo of two naked ladies making out with each other. I guess what I’m saying is there are worse mistakes to make when you...
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February 2011
4 posts
January 2011
8 posts
1 tag
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Why I don't take hipster girls seriously
I’ve been in a happy relationship for a few years, but sometimes, very briefly, I’ll imagine what it’d be like if I settled down with someone else. (I also imagine what it’d be like to go to space and fight vampires, so don’t read into this too much.)
A while ago I thought about what it’d be like to date this quirky barista I saw at Starbucks. She had preposterous glasses and a pretty face and an...
WatchSo, my dad makes stuff. He does video editing, he makes pixel art out of Legos, he does voice-over work. He’s a talented dude.
He recently put together this reel of some of his commercial type work and I really like it.
My two favorite parts:
The 3D type at 0:42. I think it’s well-presented and fun.
The “other” email messages at 1:46. Pay close attention. Pause if...
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This post is not about a wine shop.
This post is not about a wine shop.
It was going to be. I was going to take a photo of one, then write about it, but I couldn’t.
A lot of the writing I do comes from me finding something that inspires me, then taking a photo of it with my camera phone and writing about it later. I’ve done this quite a few times.
So, today I was walking through my neighborhood and I saw that a little...
December 2010
8 posts
4 tags
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I swear this conversation actually happened while...
Amy: Is this the right lane? TSA Agent: This is the no liquids lane. Me: But we have a dog. TSA Agent: That’s fine. Just no liquids. Me: But he’s… full of blood? TSA Agent: Oh. Well, that’s fine. Me: Ok, just checking. TSA Agent: I think it’s good that he has blood. Me: I do, too.
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November 2010
11 posts
2 tags
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GIFs from a YouTube video about facial yoga
There’s a YouTube video in which an enthusiastic blonde woman shows a skeptical dark-haired woman how to do facial yoga. The video’s awkward, Tim-and-Eric-like editing involves a lot of cutting from face to face. It’s awesome.
So, I made a few gifs. Enjoy.
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