Nick is a very patient man. Here is the Kony joke I sent him:
given his powerful status and his army of weaker minions, bowser is basically joseph kony
also i am a lightweight and that is the actual number of beers it takes for me to embarrass myself
I’m a monster.
My great-grandfather Clarence Birdseye founded the Birds Eye Frozen Food Company in 1923. Then in 1929 he sold it to what later became the General Foods Corporation. More recently, however, Birds Eye got a Facebook page and now I leave stupid comments on their posts for some reason.
(Here are other posts where I’ve left dumb comments)
him: how come the google.com image today is just a different drawing of a penis every time???
me: Are you crazy? That is definitely a vag.
him: are you sure? i keep refreshing and it’s just dicks dicks dicks
me: Or maybe it’s… my father…?
him: here’s a reply to your comment I refuse to post “I see my mom… made out of dicks? and she’s looking hot!!!!!”
me: I mean, if you posted that, I’d probably stab my own eyes out…
(Btw the Google homepage today gives you a random Rorschach test.)
You think the White House makes an intern do it? Like, an intern with a plastic baggy follows the President around like he’s a dog walker? As in, the President makes a little poopie and then the intern goes into the Wendy’s men’s room or whatever and picks up the poop so the Taliban can’t have it.
And then after the poop is collected, maybe the poop goes into a lil’ scrap book or something. A scrap book of presidential poop secrets.
Weird. Just got one of those “Your friend backed a project on Kickstarter” emails. Looks like they added a new button.
Like my “main” Chrome window - the one I was actively using - they each had Gmail, Facebook, and Tumblr open (among other miscellaneous tabs).
How long ago did I abandon those browser windows? Why would I open a new browser window and start over?
In one college psych class, I learned about fugue state amnesia. With it, people suddenly forget everything about their lives, so one day they just up and move away from their jobs and loved ones, and they go someplace else and assume a new identity. They can go off and start a new family without having any idea they already had one.
I know it was just a few stray browser windows, but it made me feel like one of those people.
Oh nothing, just a brony flirting with the corporate twitter account of an ice cream company with a cartoon cow mascot.
Found this during the Twitter rant I went on yesterday.
Seriously. Every time.
New feature request
I’m mostly joking here, but it wouldn’t be the worst idea.
A baby photo is just another piece of content that’s really common to see in a Facebook feed these days. And just like I can say “I don’t want to see game invites from anyone” or “I don’t want to see any photos from Steve in particular”, I’d like to be able to say “I don’t want to see any babies” or “I don’t want to see any babies posted by Stephanie.” Maybe I’m not in a baby mood, or maybe Stephanie’s just got an ugly baby. But it’s metadata, and that helps people find new stuff they like and avoid stuff they don’t.
Which would mean that if this became a thing, there’d be actions next to every photo like “Flag as baby.” And the following prompt would go “Is this a baby?” and you’d click either “Yes, it’s a baby” or “False alarm, it’s just a bald old man.”
And of course this could apply to other posts that people complain about. For example, I post dog photos because I have dogs and I like my dogs. But if you hate dogs, then fine, let me label my dog photos as dog photos. That way I can find my dog photos better, and you don’t have to look at my dogs. And of course, more flagging options: “Flag as dog?” -> “Yes, that’s a dog” or “Never mind, it’s just a brown wig.”
And before anyone recommends it: I tried Unbaby.me, the browser plugin that hides baby photos, and it’s very clever. It uses an amazing list of keywords, not some sophisticated photo detection algorithm, so it’s really only catching photos where someone wrote a caption like “This is my big boy!” or “My little princess!” It’ll also block any post that uses the word “toesies” which is just perfect.
Because obviously Peter Pan is on everyone’s minds all the time so it’s perfectly reasonable to put on the ol’ homemade Captain Hook costume and get photographed with children next to zero boats or beaches.
Nope, nothing weird about it. I think we all have fond memories of putting on our Captain Hook costumes and walking around downtown Chicago by ourselves on a warm summer day.
A very normal thing we can all understand and relate to.