@tehawesome

Manager: Have you finished drawing those holly berries on the front window of our shop?

Clerk: Almost! I’ve got three berries and a couple leaves. Just got to connect everything and I’m all done. This is going to look great.

Manager: Excellent! Only, I’ve changed my mind about your drawing. It should be a Santa.

Clerk: So I should erase the holly berries and start over?

Manager: No, no. Keep the berries there. Just make them Santa’s face.

Clerk: O… kay.

Manager: Trust me! Draw a combination of the two. Imagine Santa’s father - an old man with a big white beard - making a baby with a holly berry bush.

Clerk: I’d prefer not t-

Manager: I SAID IMAGINE IT. Now draw it. Draw it on our window. The child born from a jolly old man and some Christmas berries. Put it here, on the window of our pizza place here in downtown Chicago.

Clerk: Ugh. Fine.

Manager: Also make sure everyone knows that Santa is a white man. Put a label under his face, so no one forgets. Don’t want people thinking Santa’s Puerto Rican or something.

Clerk: Like, write “White man” under him? That doesn’t make sense.

Manager: No, that’s too nice. Write “Cracker.”

Clerk: That makes even less sense. But sure. Whatever.

Manager: Holly berry face cracker Santa is complete! This is going to be the merriest Christmas ever!

Clerk: It’s January.