15 4 / 2012

I toured a couple condos yesterday morning. One of them still had a family living in it, so all their stuff was still there. While going through the unit, I kept thinking of all these things that had NOTHING to do with properly evaluating the place. I’d think these thoughts, then immediately feel like an idiot.

  • I sat on their couch. “Hmmm. Good couch.” (The couch would not come with the condo.)
  • "They have really nice stuff. Am I expected to get stuff this nice? Their alarm clock tells you the weather. Maybe I’m poor. Maybe I shouldn’t be looking at condos at all."
  • "Wait, that kitchen soap’s from Target. I can afford that."
  • In their baby’s room: “They named their baby Chase? I don’t like that name. I don’t think I want to live here.”
  • "They’ve got foam pads on all the corners of their countertops and tables because of their baby. I wonder if these corners are really sharp."
  • "Wait, no one would sell a table with sharpened corners, right? Never mind."
  • "I should really stop thinking about corners."
  • "The creaky ladder up to this neat loft area has wheels on it. Why would it ever need wheels? You’d never move it. This is a shitty ladder. I don’t think I can trust this place because the people who live in it make shitty ladder choices."
  • "You can see the neighbors’ windows from this patio. I wonder if the neighbors are hot. That’d be a bonus. Maybe the realtor knows. Shouldn’t ask her, though. I guess you just have to find out after you move in."
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