08 11 / 2013

rachelfershleiser:

him: how come the google.com image today is just a different drawing of a penis every time???
me: Are you crazy? That is definitely a vag.
him: are you sure? i keep refreshing and it’s just dicks dicks dicks
me: Or maybe it’s… my father…?
him: here’s a reply to your comment I refuse to post “I see my mom… made out of dicks? and she’s looking hot!!!!!”
me: I mean, if you posted that, I’d probably stab my own eyes out…

 (Btw the Google homepage today gives you a random Rorschach test.)

07 11 / 2011

How to switch back to the Old Gmail: A quick & easy reference
To switch back to the old Gmail, click the gear in the top right corner, then select, “Revert to the old look temporarily.” It’s as easy as that!
Yeah, I know “temporarily” is a little passive-aggressive, but that’s the reality! You need to know that while Google acknowledges your preference for the old Gmail, it’s only going to respect it *temporarily*. You know, like when a bad short order cook says he’ll stop sitting in your food “for a while.” That’s nice, but let’s be realistic: he’s eventually just going to go back to being a dick. (What, you guys don’t talk to the short order cooks who spit in your food? I thought that was a great example.)
And wait, did you click the wrong gear in the top right corner and you still couldn’t find the right link? Make sure you didn’t click the gear with 8 teeth! That one’s got options like “Mail settings.” You want the one with 6 teeth. That’s the one for Inbox settings. (For example, there’s a link for “Settings” but that might not be the same settings as the Mail settings on the 8-teeth gear!)
When learning a new interface, it’s important to figure out which gear icon goes with which settings, and you can do that by counting the teeth. More teeth = more important settings, probably.
How to stop the New Gmail from being so horrifically tall: A Bonus Guide
New Gmail’s advertised as being “cleaner” and “more modern.” That means they took out all the lines, made all the text bigger and bolder, and added way too much goddamn whitespace to everything. But what if you don’t like too much goddamn whitespace?
It turns out, there’s a neat way to dial down the fucking whitespace:
Click the gear in the top right corner (the gear with six teeth, not eight teeth!!!). Look under “Display density.” It should be set to “Comfortable.” You know, because your text needs some room to relax after a long day of you being able to read it. Isn’t that why every book you’ve ever read was printed triple-spaced? Anyway, just click “Compact.”
Congratulations! Now you can scan your inbox without having to vertically scroll so much!

How to switch back to the Old Gmail: A quick & easy reference

To switch back to the old Gmail, click the gear in the top right corner, then select, “Revert to the old look temporarily.” It’s as easy as that!

Yeah, I know “temporarily” is a little passive-aggressive, but that’s the reality! You need to know that while Google acknowledges your preference for the old Gmail, it’s only going to respect it *temporarily*. You know, like when a bad short order cook says he’ll stop sitting in your food “for a while.” That’s nice, but let’s be realistic: he’s eventually just going to go back to being a dick. (What, you guys don’t talk to the short order cooks who spit in your food? I thought that was a great example.)

And wait, did you click the wrong gear in the top right corner and you still couldn’t find the right link? Make sure you didn’t click the gear with 8 teeth! That one’s got options like “Mail settings.” You want the one with 6 teeth. That’s the one for Inbox¬†settings. (For example, there’s a link for “Settings” but that might not be the same settings as the Mail settings on the 8-teeth gear!)

When learning a new interface, it’s important to figure out which gear icon goes with which settings, and you can do that by counting the teeth. More teeth = more important settings, probably.

How to stop the New Gmail from being so horrifically tall: A Bonus Guide

New Gmail’s advertised as being “cleaner” and “more modern.” That means they took out all the lines, made all the text bigger and bolder, and added way too much goddamn whitespace to everything. But what if you don’t like too much goddamn whitespace?

It turns out, there’s a neat way to dial down the fucking whitespace:

Click the gear in the top right corner (the gear with six teeth, not eight teeth!!!). Look under “Display density.” It should be set to “Comfortable.” You know, because your text needs some room to relax after a long day of you being able to read it. Isn’t that why every book you’ve ever read was printed triple-spaced? Anyway, just click “Compact.”

Congratulations! Now you can scan your inbox without having to vertically scroll so much!

07 11 / 2011

"Hey guys, remember in 2006 when MySpace let you set your background image to any old ugly shit so it was harder to read everything? Let’s bring that back LOL."
-Google, apparently

"Hey guys, remember in 2006 when MySpace let you set your background image to any old ugly shit so it was harder to read everything? Let’s bring that back LOL."

-Google, apparently

14 5 / 2010

I’m sure this is old news, but I just discovered that if you google “recursion” then Google asks if you meant “recursion.”
It was one of those “I wonder if they made that a joke” things, and sure enough they had.
Still, that didn’t stop me from thinking, “Uh oh. Maybe I spelled it wro-DAMN IT GOOGLE.”

I’m sure this is old news, but I just discovered that if you google “recursion” then Google asks if you meant “recursion.”

It was one of those “I wonder if they made that a joke” things, and sure enough they had.

Still, that didn’t stop me from thinking, “Uh oh. Maybe I spelled it wro-DAMN IT GOOGLE.”