“Pssst! Hey! It’s your cell phone! I just wanted to tell you to stay alert and be sa-…
What? What do you mean this isn’t a realistic font to be on a cell phone? Isn’t a cell phone, like, a little computer? Well, that font’s on my computer at home. Why can’t it be on a phone? I think it’s nice. It’s all curvy and I think that’s pretty.
Anyway. I just thought I’d remind you to pay atten-…
Wait. Are you laughing? This is about your safety, people, and all you can do is laugh at my lettering? Listen, I’m a magic cell phone, and I’m just sending you a secret message on a subway. What’s so funny about that? It’s like when Neo got that message from Trinity in The Matrix. Wouldn’t that be cool? You know, receiving random messages from stuff telling you to do things? Like, what if your microwave told you to climb onto your roof? Thrilling!
Hey, screw you, buddy. I really liked The Matrix.
Fine. Don’t listen to me. If you need anything, I’ll be in your pocket, keeping all my cool secret messages to myself. Just don’t let me get stolen out of your pocket because you were too distracted making fun of a well-intentioned but poorly executed ad on the subway.”
